You’re out and about, minding your own business, when suddenly it feels like your butt cheeks are chewing a pack of Big Red Gum. You’re desperate for relief, but every step only dials your discomfort.
If you’re reading this, chances are you’ve been a victim of butt chafing: a common yet painful skin condition caused by excessive friction. Chafing can strike anywhere your skin rubs against itself or fabric: armpits, inner thighs, boobs, even your nipples. But there’s arguably no worse type of chafing than butt chafing.
Common symptoms include a red rash, bumps, itching, and a stinging or burning sensation. Not to freak you out, but severe cases of butt chafing can lead to cracked skin, bloody blisters, and infections.
Lucky for you, we’re coming in hot with expert anti-chafing tips to keep your cheeks fresh AF. But first, let’s unpack what causes chafing to begin with.
What Causes Butt Chafing?
If your butt is chafing, chances are you’re making at least one of these mistakes. Here are four common causes of chafing, according to science.
1. Wearing Cotton Underwear
If you wear cotton underwear, you’re basically begging for your butt to chafe.
Cotton can absorb up to 27 times its own weight in fluid (like sweat), which creates a big problem if your crotch is hot and humid. All that excess moisture creates the perfect storm for chafed cheeks.
Not to mention, ill-fitting cotton underwear makes matters worse. Tight underwear causes rubbing and friction, while loose underwear doesn’t offer enough support, leading to increased irritation.
Instead of cotton underwear, slip into moisture-wicking, underwear (more on that later).
2. Friction from Exercise
Sure, activities like running, hiking, cycling, and even walking will burn plenty of calories—but there’s a good chance they’ll burn your butt cheeks too.
When you engage in a lot of movement, the repeated friction makes your skin irritated, red, itchy, and inflamed.
Think of it like rubbing two sticks together to make a fire (except that fire is between your butt cheeks).
Sweat is like jet fuel for butt chafing. The moisture reduces the natural lubrication of your skin, making it more prone to friction when it rubs against itself or your underwear.
Speaking of increased friction, underwear that’s soaked in sweat can’t glide easily across your skin. Instead, it scrapes over and over until you’re left with a painful red rash.
4. Dry Skin
Most people think a soupy butt is the only thing to blame for butt chafing. However, excessively dry skin can cause butt chafing too.
Healthy skin has a layer of natural oils that protect it from friction. But if your booty skin is as dry as the Sahara Desert, it becomes prone to abrasions. This typically becomes a problem in the winter months or in super dry climates.
How to Get Fast Relief from Butt Chafing
Here’s a three-step approach to treat a chafed butt. Depending how much damage you did, your rash can take anywhere from a few hours to a few days to heal.
1. Take a Cool Shower
Chafing rashes are a combination of heat burns and abrasions. The last thing you need is a steaming hot shower to add insult to injury. Instead, take a cold shower to soothe your irritated skin and clean your butt with mild soap.
2. Apply Aloe Vera
After you hop out of the shower, lather your butt cheeks with aloe vera. This stuff has natural cooling and healing properties.
Think of it like drinking an ice cold Gatorade after a hangover, except it’s for your chafed ass cheeks.
3. Apply Petroleum Jelly
Once the aloe vera soaks in, slap on a layer of petroleum jelly (AKA Vaseline) to the affected area. For only a few bucks, this stuff will prevent your chafing rashes from drying out and forming a scab.
How to Prevent Butt Chafing
Here are three tried and true tips to ensure your butt never burns from chafing again.
1. Get Moisture-Wicking Underwear
The best way to combat chafing is wearing breathable, moisture-wicking underwear. (Shameless product plug incoming).
Culprit Underwear is engineered with micromodal fabric, which is basically an insurance policy against chafed cheeks. It’s more breathable than cotton, wicks away moisture, and is soft AF to keep friction to a minimum.
2. Try Anti-Chafe Products
The internet abounds with topical anti-chafe creams, balms, and sticks. These create a barrier against moisture and friction so you can run, hike, bike, breakdance, and do the limbo without feeling like someone scraped your ass with sandpaper.
So yeah, we’re basically telling you to lube up your butt (just not for the reason most people talk about).
3. Use Body Powder
If you have sensitive skin or you’re a notorious victim of swamp ass, we recommend dusting your nether regions with body powder before embarking on any adventures. The powder soaks up excess moisture to reduce friction.
Whether you’re vacationing in the swamp or your in-laws refuse to run their air conditioner, this stuff can be a life saver.
Chafing Doesn’t Stand a Chance Against Culprit
Imagine wasting money on cotton underwear that turns your butt into a bayou swamp. No offense if you’re guilty of that, but you should really give your money to us and let us treat you to the softest, comfiest, sexiest underwear to ever grace a human’s ass cheeks.
Does it cost more than the 12-packs of stiff cotton underwear you’ve shoved your junk into for years? Yes. Will they make your butt chafe until there’s a five alarm fire in your pants? F*ck no.
Pick your pair today and thank us later.